The One Goal Rule
It would seem abundantly clear from our struggles and attitudes that many humans have forgotten why we’re here: the ultimate One Goal of being alive. Even though life is often mistaken for the accumulation of things or information, the goal of being alive is to have an experience. That experience is always with us, for better or worse. Therefore, having an experience of life is not optional. Our only choice in the matter is whether to have a poor experience, a good experience, or a great one. If your answer is that you’d like a great one, the first step is to ask yourself if you truly believe that it is a matter of choice. Unless and until you do, your experience of life will be that of a victim, and you will only have the experience that other people allow you to have.
In spite of the common attack-points for this quality—success, weight loss, fitness, wealth, health, bodybuilding, wellness, and other modern-day objectives—sincere people pursuing these things would subconsciously prefer a much greater result than any of these can provide: a maximum experience of this thing called Life. This is the one goal that we all have in common because, after all, if it’s really attainable, why would you settle for anything less. So the only confusion here is in what we think we can actually achieve through our knowledge and efforts.
The first—and just maybe the most important—lesson in attaining this lofty experience is that the ultimate One Goal can never be assumed to be simply a sum of a lot of many smaller goals. Rather, it is an intricate web of interconnected qualities of humanity that all work in harmony to create an incredible richness of life that is only attainable in concert. The best experience of life is always far more than just a sum of its parts. Knowing that, pursuing it as a single harmonious Goal becomes the only real choice. The is the “One Goal” rule.
A quick analogy from the world of fitness and my time as a trainer and gym owner: many clients would come to me with a request to work on their balance or flexibility. Training those things is a fairly simple matter, but if we approach it in that way the results would be mediocre and temporary. The way to powerfully address those weaknesses is to ask, “why is my balance and flexibility lacking in the first place?” The answer is always that you have been spending far too little of your time engaged in appropriate breadth and completeness of physical activity. When you spend an adequate amount of time being active in the ways that the body was designed, you simply do not have a balance or flexibility problem. Those weaknesses were a symptom of a bigger issue, not the issue itself.
So it is with the elements that make up your experience of life. If you think having money is the sum total of the experience of life, it is probably because you don’t have much of it. So you set about making some, and in the process you sacrifice relationships, fun, health, and a few other important contributors to the real experience, and the quality of your life suffers. At that point you’re likely to think that you just haven’t made enough money yet, and you bear down and sacrifice a few more bits of your great life for the goal of money. All the while, the premise was wrong, but you didn’t know it.
Let me be clear in saying that most of those smaller contributions are good things to have in your life. In fact, we rightly see them as a requirement for a high quality experience. The problem with seeking them out independently is that they are rarely realized in isolation. In other words, when they are pursued to the exclusion of the other required qualities, the results are far less in terms of satisfaction and degree than they can otherwise be. An example would be those who seek wealth directly, and to the exclusion of other qualities like health. Ask any former lottery winner if their wealth has provided them with a maximum experience of life.
The only reason that all of those smaller things exist is that they satisfy a human tendency to compartmentalize our busy lives into more mentally digestible chunks, and address them separately. In practice, that typically means addressing only the chunks that are the most convenient, intriguing, or least challenging, to the exclusion of the others. We may intend to get around to them all, but we never find the time. It’s just human nature.
The other problem with picking and choosing these quality-of-life pieces is that we often get the natural order of things wrong. For example, trying to help an unhappy person to be healthy is probably an impossible task, but at best it will be a magnitude harder than it might have been. Conversely, when you successfully open someone’s eyes about their ability to be in control of their happiness and outlook on life, everything else about the job of creating their experience—health, wealth, relationships, etc—becomes that much easier. This is just one example of how we can mess up the hierarchy of personal development.
Why this segmented mentality has persisted is that it appears on the surface that the only 2 options are to segment our quality of life into bite-sized nuggets, or to be overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of the task. But what if there was a 3rd choice? That other choice is to realize that the task of creating an exceptional quality of life—the real One Goal—isn’t really enormous after all. We’ve just been told it is more complicated than it needs to be, and each of its parts, in turn, has also been made to seem so complicated that we could never figure out on our own so that you will feel compelled to pay someone to guide you through it or, better still, to supply a shortcut that won’t mess up your hair; like a pill.
For this reason people now desperately cling to one or two chunks of the One Goal, which accounts for the fact that they become clients of coaches, health clubs, therapists, gurus and the like, seeking different symbols of it. In the health and fitness game (only one example), it is impossible to sell anything but a limited and limiting quality of life centered mostly around some image of attractiveness (limitation), or performance focused on a particular sport or activity (more limitation).
Many people who show up at a typical gym or health club just aren’t ready to accept that even the best fitness guidance isn’t going to get them any closer to a higher quality of life unless they also deal with their stress and addictions and sleep and relationships and more, and until they also clear out all of the limiting beliefs in their mind that would ultimately keep them stuck in unhealthy behaviors.
Outside of the fitness realm, beliefs range from weird lifestyles, formulas for success in business, how much money you have, how attractive your mate is, and the list goes on. None of them, by itself, or even in a limited combination, will produce the Ultimate Goal. Why do people think that they will? Simply, it is evidence of a lack of leadership in the realm of human potential; in other words, no one ever told them otherwise. That ends now.
In light of all of this, the only coaching I now support is that which is based on an entirely new context; a fundamental understanding that a baseline level of the human experience can only be achieved by integrating (not separating) all of the aspects of being human, and leveraging the power of each one to create a whole person that is greater than the sum of its parts. And one where the One Goal from the very beginning is a limitless “Quality Of Life”. A context where there are no pre- (and ill-) conceived beliefs about the process, and where we are free to get to the real point: the One Goal for being alive. Without that, achieving any of those limiting pieces, however successfully, but to the exclusion of the others, inevitably leaves you unsatisfied: wanting that One Goal of all that life has to offer every person.
If your day-to-day life is uncomfortable and unfulfilled in any way, there’s a solution out there that is attainable and well-worth the effort, but it will require you to suspend your beliefs about the nature of the problem (currently: I’m not enough). Whatever else you choose to achieve in life, the One Goal is the most powerful approach of all. The only requirement is your willingness to create a completely new you; to wipe the slate clean and become a new person from the ground up, rather than just tacking on new gimmicks to the old you.